03 May 2009

Restructuring Stimulus Plan?

I finished reading Framed to the children last week or so. Good book; great fun; highly recommended. Now I'm reading something of a silly romp, The Extraordinary Adventures of Ordinary Boy: The Hero Revealed, by William Boniface (2006). It's not a literary prizewinner, but it is pretty humorous, and my children are enjoying it (along with me), from the seven-year-old on up to the almost-fifteen-year-old. The four-year-old is in and out, depending on his mood.

Anyway, in the spirit of such good humor (an extraordinary gift of God), I wonder if the following excerpt from Ordinary Boy might offer any helpful insights into the LCMS restructuring effort.

"It didn't surprise us that Indestructo Industries was one of Superopolis's most successful companies. We certainly bought enough of their products! But when we reached the address listed in the handbook, we couldn't believe the sleek, shiny office tower that awaited us. As we walked up the main sidewalk leading to the building, we passed under the legs of the enormous statue of the Amazing Indestructo. On its shoulders was balanced a huge globe bearing the name of the company. It was impressive, but not more than I would expect for the greatest hero in Superopolis.

"In the lobby we saw a directory, and we quickly found what we were looking for: Office of the President, twentieth floor. It made sense that the president would be at the top.


20th floor • Office of the President

19th floor • The Sentinels of Trademark Infringement

18th floor • The Defenders of Lawsuits

17th floor • The Federation of Fine Print

16th floor • The Syndicate of Shell Corporations

15th floor • The Human Resources Self-Preservation Squad

14th floor • The Enforcers of Corporate Euphemisms

13th floor • The League of Licensing, Royalties, & Copyrights

12th floor • The Proprietary Protectors of Patents

11th floor • The Association for the Exploitation of Adjectives

10th floor • The Union for Foodlike Substances

9th floor • Cafeteria / The League of Ulimate Goodness World Headquarters

8th floor • The Product Development Force

7th floor • The Secret Society of Safety Testers

6th floor • The Toxic Substance Recategorization Team

5th floor • The Choking Hazard Clearance Guild

4th floor • The Guardians of Profit

3rd floor • The Legion of Pencil Pushers

2nd floor • The Minions of the Mailroom

1st floor • Aren't You Here Already?

"'I'm not so sure we should be doing this.' Plasma Girl stopped suddenly. 'We could get into a lot of trouble and maybe even get yelled at.'

"As usual, Plasma Girl was thinking sensibly — the last thing a superhero on a mission wants to do. After all, if heroes thought sensibly, they'd stay home where it's safe" (Ordinary Boy, 82-85).


Jason said...

This reminds me of one of my favorite Umberto Eco quotations on the subject of heroes. He wrote: "The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else." Or something like that.

Rev. Rick Stuckwisch said...

I love it. Great quote! Thanks, Jason.